Can't... feel... toes...

Scary things happen when your'e alone. You start hearing strange noises, start seeing things, and you can't feel parts of your body. Then you realise that the hammer that you thought you were imagining is real, the strange sounds were actually you slamming the hammer down, and you can't feel parts of your body because what you are smacking with the hammer is actually your toes. So then it's just another normal day in the neighborhood. And as you hear the splooching sound of your toes being pounded into jelly, you think to yourself "all of this blood could stain my new shirt." So you walk into the kitchen and begin rinsing water onto the red stains of the clean, white T. But then you notice one of your kitchen appliances. It stands out above the others, with it's silver and black outer layer, it peers up at you, fearless, anxious, and a wee bit erotic. You remember your dream last night of running through candycane littered fields and lolipop rain drops... until the coffee maker comes out of no where and starts opening it's lid, and pouring out it's black, no cream or sugar, innards onto you. And then you wake up in the kitchen sink with one hand on the faucet and the other on the half-empty bottle of Dawn dish detergent. And then you start to cry like a little girl, not out of fear, but out of testosterone. The best things happen when your'e by yourself, so go lock yourself into your bathroom for about 3 days. It'll do the greatest things to your opinion on life. ^_^